I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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