Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
