My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize