Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
