if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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