is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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