Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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