Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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