When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
