i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
