Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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