also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
