Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
