Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
