Will you blow on my dice?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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