If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
