So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
