Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
