he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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