i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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