I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
