I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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