i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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