Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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