I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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