i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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