Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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