Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
