I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
