I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
