Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
