Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
