First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
