Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
