careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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