I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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