just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
