don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
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For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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