just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
