Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
