just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
