I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize