Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
