guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
