I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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