i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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