people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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