another moral hangover. fuck.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
