she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
