Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
