Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
