i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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