hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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