I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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