whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
