I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
