at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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