And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
