I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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