He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
