Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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