The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
Itβs like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
